Life and Death
by britishtwat
Summary: After a horrible mistake Connor is left suicidal and Abby coping with a shock. But can she get to him before its far too late?
1. Chapter 1

** L I F E A N D D E A T H **

** A Connor/Abby fic.**

After a horrible mistake Connor is left suicidal, and Abby coping with a shock.

Can she get to him before its way too late?

** If people want Carolines number its 07710226749 (As seen on Connor's phone mwahaha)**

** Please review and earn cookies.**

'_Do you regret it?' Worried brown eyes looked at her and she turned her face away._

'_Yes'_

That one word had been the start of the downhill slope. It made her mentally and physically sick to think that she said that to him, that one lie changed everything, she hadn't wanted to loose him but saying that one word had done exactly that. The look of pain that had crossed his face had been unbearable and all because of that one word. He hadn't said or done much since, just stayed in his room, not eating and avoiding her at all costs. So she avoided him, until now that was.

She knocked on his door, startlingly loud in the silent house. 'Connor'

Silence

'Can I come in?'

'No' came the muffled reply.

'Please?!'

She pushed the door open, he was sat on the bed staring at the blank wall. A holdall was next to his feet half packed with clothes, she knew where this was going. She crossed the room and sat next to him, and he flinched and pulled away. He was so skinny, she could see his cheekbones sticking out his face. Probably could have seen his ribs too, but she wasn't going down the road that led to this in the first place.

'Connor…'

'Leave me alone Abby'

'Whats wrong'

He turned to face her and finally she could see the conflict of emotions on his face, the anger, the betrayal and the anger.

'Don't even ask. You know exactly what's wrong with me and you pretend nothings even happened. You act as if I don't exist anymore and what you said….

He trailed off

'…you don't know how much you hurt me'

'Connor, I didn't mean to…

'Save it. Im leaving. Its not like they need me at the ARC, they can do without me. I really need to get away from this job, away from London and most of all Abby, away from you'

He watched as her face fell like shed been told someone had died, but didn't care. He continued to pack random things into the bag and when he was done he slammed out the room and she watched dumbfounded as he walked out the door.

And out of her life.

**Pleaseeeee review :) i like to know im doing some good :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**L I F E A N D D E A T H **

**A Connor/Abby fic.**

After a horrible mistake Connor is left suicidal, and Abby coping with a shock.

Can she get to him before its way too late?

**Thanks for reviewing everyone!!!! Love'ya and do it again!**

Chapter Two (Short)

She just collapsed back against the closed door and cried. She didn't understand how something could go so so wrong. She hasn't meant to say that one word that changed them. She could have said no, and have had a perfectly normal friendship.

She still had his scarf on, it smelt of him. She thought back to how they had been before it went so wrong. And she cried most of the night.

************************************************************************

When Abby walked into the ARC, the next morning without Connor, that was when Sarah Page suspected something. Her eyes were bloodshot and red and she looked like she had had no sleep what so ever.

Lester rather tactfully stolled up 'Do you know where Connor is?'

She sort of gave a pitiful sob, before covering her face in her hands 'he's gone'

Sarah put her arm around her and shooting Lester a death glare, steered her into the nearest office. Abby sat back in the chair and sobbed.

'What happened, did you have a fight'

'Sarah, he left! He proper left! He told me he didn't want to be around me anymore and I…I just let him storm out the door! Ive been crying all night and havent had any sleep, because when I fall asleep I see his face!'

'Its okay, he'll come back'

'Not this time Sarah. It was bad'

Abby stared at Sarah.

'I said I regretted it and I didn't! He stopped eating and its all my fault hes gone!'

'What did you regret?' Sarah was seriously confused now and showing it.

'I slept with him Sarah'

************************************************************************

It was morning before he got a train out of London. Back to his hometown of Blackburn.

He wasn't sure why hed left, why hed gone. It was done, hed walked out of her life because of a row. A row over something as trivial as sex.

He really shouldn't have left, but the thing was he wasn't sure whether he wanted to leave her life.

Or life in general.

Could he do it? Could he commit suicide? Like his dad, and Abby's parents, could he? Would it hurt? Would Abby be sad? No. She wouldn't care.

So Connor Temple started to hatch a plan.

**Review if you want Connor to live! Mwaha**


	3. Chapter 3

**L I F E A N D D E A T H **

_In Connors dream, he was standing there, the place he planned to go. He was thinking about his life._

_I should give up._

_No, no, no, no! Think, Connor, think of Abby!_

_I can't, though, she doesn't care._

_You can't lose yourself to this, please._

_I will._

_Please, do not do what you are thinking!_ _Don't die! _The other inner voice was fading.

_I will._

_Please . . . _A different voice was talking place, the voice of love.

_Abby? _

_Don't leave me again, Connor, don't die!_

_Tough. You don't care, you never did._

_At least say goodbye to me . . . _And the voice left, not even a memory.

* * *

Abby reluctantly joined in when the Anomaly Alert went off, it didn't feel the same without Connor at all. He should have been there by her side as they locked the anomaly and had no trouble at all, he should have congratulated her when she totally kicked Becker's ass at football, hitting it like Stephen into a sign that said No Football.

He should have been there when she passed out, and was taken to hospital.

She had just collapsed, nothing to pre-empt it, nothing at all wrong. Until that was she was told some news she just could not cope with at all.

'You have to tell him!' Sarah tried to persuade her as she drove Abby home, but Abby had just stayed ashen and silent, staring out the window. She was scared she might start crying again, shed only just stopped, she didn't want to talk about it or Connor. She just wanted to go home and forget it, pretend it wasn't real.

'Are you happy?'

That was a harder question to answer and she took her time to say anything at all, finally when Sarah had presumed she wasn't talking she spoke.

'Yes, I mean no, but yes. But….'

'Tell him'

'I cant Sarah, he's gone. He's not coming back'

'You don't know that.'

'I do' she whispered 'You didn't see him'

The meer thought of the Connor that had left, the one that said he didn't care anymore made her sick. She couldn't talk to him, tell him. He had gone, making his choice, leaving her behind. She didn't even know where he had gone.

It was only when she was alone in the flat did the true reality of today hit her, and she sat down and cried. It was different to the previous nights crying, because this time it was mostly her fault. And that mixed with the memories of his face as he left, made the pain even less bearable.

_Maybe I should just kill myself._

_No. Don't ever think about it. Not now, not after today._

She wasn't thinking rationally, she told herself, she was sleep starved and tired, she wouldn't ever do that. Not like her mum and her dad, leaving her and Jack alone to cope for themselves. The only family she had. She had to be strong and she had to get over Connor.

But she knew in her heart she never could.

* * *

Connor sat on the bench at the train station with a heavy heart, he wanted to go back, back to her and be happy, but he knew he couldn't. He had to be strong and he had to get over Abby.

But he knew in his heart he never could.

So he chose the easy way out of all the hurt, pain and regret he had gotten himself into, the plan was formed and all that was left was to do what his dream said.

Say goodbye.

He typed out the message and pressed send. That was it. He put the phone in his pocket, slung the bag over his shoulder and walked out.

* * *

Abby's phone vibrated on the side and she went over to see who had sent her a 'note' as it was called on her phone, a long message. Connor

**Abigail Sarah Maitland.**

**I tried it after my dad died, years ago. I was at a neighbour's house and fired a gun at my head. Nothing happened; it seemed empty. I fired it at a wall and put a bullet in it. So a minute later I found some pills in a medicine cabinet. I remember watching cartoons and taking the pills one by one. A neighbour lady found me and couldn't wake me up. I couldn't open my eyes or move, but I heard everything. I remember the lady shaking me and saying, "Oh, my God." I remember the ambulance people taking off my clothes and making me throw up. There wasn't any pain. I don't remember having my stomach pumped. Am I glad I was rescued? Oh yeah. I was so glad I didn't die. It made me realize how much I appreciate myself, because I had a glimpse of what I might have lost. I had some friends and I would've missed them. I didn't have to go home after that. They put me in a foster home. If I had a suicidal friend now I'd ask them, "Why don't you have any alternatives? Could it really be so awful?" That's what I say to myself now.**

**So I guess this is it, this will be the last you ever hear from me. Because I just cant do this anymore, I cant bear it. You not knowing I exist, pretending my feelings don't count. I love you, but you don't love me and that's what hurts the most. It seems as if I have been spending all my life apologizing to you for things that happened whether they were my fault or not. I will never see you smile again but my feelings don't matter, so if you don't want me, what's the point anymore. Im ending my life, its faster than having myself torn to pieces at the ARC anyway. This is no way to live, but no way to die. Its my choice, ive been feeling like this for a while and have managed to find the courage to do it. Im useless anyway, they don't need me - Don't ever blame yourself for my actions, ever Abby.**

**Love you forever.**

**Connor. Xxx**

**P.S. Please forgive me. I want you to, and don't think for one minute that I haven't appreciated everything you've done.**

The phone was right. It was a note. A suicide note. And she was out of the house faster than she ever thought she could run.


	4. Alternate Ending One: Happy

**L I F E A N D D E A T H **

**Alternate Ending One: The Happy Ending**

She was at the ARC in ten minutes, tearing down the corridors until she got to the main operations room. She flung herself at the computer and typed in his mobile number, to trace his phone like he did Caroline's years ago.

"What the hell is going on?' asked Sarah and Abby just threw her her phone, she read the message and was at her side in an instant, reading the place over her shoulder.

'Blackburn'

*****************************************************************

He was there, he was ready. Looking down, the edge of the cliff looked quite high, but never the less he was sure he would do it. He checked his phone, nothing from Abby. She really didn't care at all, He set his bag down and sat down for a bit, he thought he would wait until it wasn't so crowded. His black hair flopped into his face, his brain was trying to talk him out of it.

_Throwing yourself off a cliff doesn't help._

_Yes, it will._

_You love her, you cant do this._

_I can and I will._

_Don't, it'll hurt._

_Oh well._

_Think of your dad._

…_.._

_That's what I thought._

_I Just cant do this anymore._

_This isn't the answer. _The voice was fading again

He made a decision he wanted to be free and never worry about anything. To forget his broken heart. Slowly, he stood up, then began to approach the edge…..

*****************************************************************

Abby and Sarah had been driving for four whole hours, they were tired and scared. Abby was crying, she hadn't stopped since they had raced out of the ARC. The car swerved violently to the left and Sarah battled to control it.

"Turn right!' Abby shouted at Sarah and she executed a rather brilliant but illegal handbrake turn into the oncoming traffic. Turing right and skidding to a stop some four centimetres from a old woman. They flung open the car doors and ran full pelt down the road to the place where she had gotten the signal from the phone. She saw someone on the edge and that person, had a shock of black hair and she was already imagining the brown eyes that went with him.

"CONNOR!' she screamed.

The guy turned around and she saw the look of surprise flicker across his face.

'Don't come closer Abby, leave me alone'

'I cant! Please Connor!'

'No'

The determination in his voice was almost deadpan, like he was so resigned to falling to his death. Her face turned desperate, he took another step back.

'I love you!'

It ripped his heart in two, and he wanted run over and hug her, but no, he had to fall.

'I cant' his voice cracked with emotion and he started to cry. He took another step backwards, he was so almost there.

'IM PREGNANT' she shouted at him, crying.

He stopped then and stared at her. Did she just say that? Or was he imagining it?

She was running up to him now and she threw her arms around him, and he hugged her close. He couldn't jump now, not after this.

He pulled away to look at her and she grabbed his jacket and kissed him, hard and he returned the kiss, fighting back the tears that threatened to overflow. He was going to be a father and she loved him. They could be together.

Sarah and Becker watched them from the bottom of the cliff and Becker turned to her.

'This place translates as love forever'

Sarah took his hand 'Its so true'

**Alternate Ending Two: Devestation coming up soon, Review!**


End file.
